Friday, March 03, 2006

Dream post

I woke up from a dream this morning with a clear thought in my head:

Frightened, ignorant people may be able to tell me what to do; but frightened, ignorant people will NEVER tell me what to think.

This was at 7:30am on my day off, and I got up to write down my dream. I often forget them, and it seemed so urgent not to let this thought go.

This has never happened, but in the dream a female coworker misconstrued something I said as making a pass at her, and it made her angry and embarrassed. I thought, but apparently couldn't say, you aren't the type of woman I would hit on were I to approach a woman that way.

The coworker then morphed into a woman I know well but don't work with. We were at a fancy dress movie premiere in a tent with folding chairs. I had gotten up from my chair and left my shoes under it. In an effort to disassociate herself from my supposed advances, she picked up my shoes and, one at a time, threw them to the front of the theater. I was standing right in front of her, but she didn't notice because she was so concerned about what everyone else thought about her. I waited until she finally looked me in the eye. She felt bad and left. A funny detail--at least half the audience in the tent is gay or bi. How do I know this? It's my dream, silly!

I don't think the homosexuality issue is important at all in this dream, from what I know of the real attitudes of all present in it. Any touchy issue could be substituted. What strikes me are these points:

  • I couldn't deny a specific taboo action without admitting to it in general principal, thereby bringing the same social censure and punishment
  • Fear of ridicule or being outcast leads us to sacrifice each other to save ourselves
  • Many more people than will ever admit it are engaging in the activities for which they publicly denounce others
Fear, ignorance, and the actions they spawn are my enemies. My mind is free. My mind is hungry. Now I want to work on that first bit: "Frightened, ignorant people may be able to tell me what to do. . ." That shit has just got to stop. ; )

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